Its hard to miss the domestic case that surrounds Rihanna and Chris Brown. It's been talked about and talked about again. Everybody seems to have an opinion on their relationship and her actions. It's safe to say Rihanna hasn't always made the best choices and her instagram is pretty controversial. Being in the media your every move is watched, but Rihanna has embraced and perfected the "no fucks given" attitude.
I've felt an overwhelming amount of compassion for her in the last couple years because she gets a lot of heat for her choices and the person she is. SO here are my personal points of view on the publics biggest issues with her.
1. Rihanna is NOT afraid to be sexual or afraid of her sexuality. She is a 25 year old woman marketing herself as a product and making multi-millions. I would agree that it would probably be alarming to hear my 10 year old daughter singing "suck my cockiness, lick my persuasion." It doesn't take a parent to know she isn't the best example to the younger audience. HOWEVER, RiRi is portraying sex in a way that it isn't inherently bad! Rihanna self-objectifies herself at times, but overall I think her message is to talk about females' OWNING their sexuality. In other words she isn't afraid to say how she likes it and lets it be known that her pleasure is central, not his.
2. Chris Brown is obviously back in her life. The two have been posted photographs, collaborated on her album and have been spotted at the Grammys getting cozy. After the assault Ri was forced into the spot light as a poster child for domestic violence. A role she never asked for or imagined. Domestic relationship are very toxic, complex and cyclical, something that Rihanna has expressed in her music. For Rihanna's sake many wish and don't understand why she wouldn't cut Chris out for good but the truth of the matter is, she is HUMAN, just as imperfect as the rest of us. She is trying to work through a relationship with somebody who she has had a heavy past with and placing judgement and opinions on a situation that we really only know half of isn't going to change or make it any better. We have absolutely no idea what goes on her in head, but it has been made fact that Rihanna has had very little positive male influence in her life. She has had a rocky relationship with her father. He has reportedly fat shamed her multiple times in the past and even stands up for Chris Browns actions stating "everybody's entitled to make mistakes in their life."
My point is Rihanna is a strong woman. She has made it through adversity under the spot light of the media and has used her experience to grow. She perceives a hard posture but we often forget because she is a celebrity that she is also a woman. A person. Who is entitled to make mistakes and deal with issues the best she knows how. I might be standing up for Rihanna but god damnit she deserves it.
Lay off a little, shall we?
You and I share the same opinion on this couple! Onlookers do not have the rights to judge from the outside and in all honesty things get blown so far away from the truth. My sister dated an NBA player for a number of years and people from all over had their opinions and judgements on blogs and networking sites. What Rihanna and Chris have is their own business and if she was doing something that was putting herself in danger I'm pretty sue she has plenty people to help her.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I kind of think her use of sexuality, while it could be her personality, is also a likely combination of her preferences and what is encouraged by her PR/marketing/music label. She is, after all, marketing a product.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your blog post. Rihanna is a strong, independent woman who knows how to take care of herself. Celebrities are often looked at as super-humans; people who can do no wrong. Celebrities are people who do make mistakes, but instead of an internal battle, they are fighting a battle with the media and public opinion. Her life has not been easy, so I think that we should all take a step back and let her grow as a person and a musician before we start making crazy assumptions about this couple.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Riri should make her own decisions. Chris Brown should get help for his anger problems or whatever caused him to hurt her. We cannot judge their relationship and we cannot expect Riri to be perfect. The only skeptical criticism I have is I wonder how much of her image is really her. How corporatized is her persona? Sure she gets to pick out her own clothes and can do her own thing, but how much is she pushed by the record label and other corporate entities? If she is a product, do they own her? Can she completely own herself? I admire her confidence, her brazen sexuality and her "no fucks given" attitude. She can be hard but she can also show her vulnerable side. I appreciate that. I hope her and Chris can work out their difficulties in a healthy way. I am glad you addressed this.
ReplyDeleteDAMN. Wonderful conviction, in this - I LOVE IT!! I think you've also done a wonderful job at humanising someone who is essentially in the business of being viewed as a superior person. I think you have an excellent grasp on how intimate partner violence relationships work, and you did well connecting it to how you can see the cycle of abuse, even from through our teevees.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when people, especially feminists, criticize Riri for owning her sexuality and having an intricate relationship with Chris Brown. So for taking them on- in a wonderful way- and by humanizing a person we all are too willing to objectify, awesome post! My only question is, should laying off be our only course of action, or is there more steps we can take to not only change our perceptions of Riri, but also the culture in general?
ReplyDeleteYou cannot in anyway defend Rihanna for getting back together with chris brown. She was hospitalized because he beat her ass so much. What is that teaching to young children who look up to a pop culture icon like this. If you had a friend who was getting abused by their SO you would not say it is their decision to make you would do the best you could to get them out of the situation. This is only going to further foster a victim blaming culture.
ReplyDeleteAhhh Lauren, I'm so glad you wrote about RiRi. I know how much you love her. I think that you did a great job of defending her in an appropriate way and supporting your reasons. I totally agree that being in the media is hard because everyone watches your every move. I also have to confess that when I heard she got back together with Chris, I was upset for her. I thought "how could she possibly love someone that hurts her so badly"? But we have to remember that we do not know her personal life or feelings; we only know what we see in the news (that can be manipulated as well) and so therefore we do not know what goes on behind the scenes, so to speak. I'm glad you brought up a lot of the "controversial" points surrounding Rhianna in this post and have embraced her and her choices. I think she is a strong role model for women: to love who you are, make your own choices and to be a strong independent woman. While I still have my own feelings about RiRi (we are all entitled to them) I think that your blog changed my mind about her. Even more so though, what is your course of action? Talking and informing us about Rhianna is one thing, but what's next? How do we change other's minds?
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the new the SVU case last week that was about Rihianna and Chris Brown?? Very interesting, Im not if they said the true story or not. I think Rihanna and Chris are the only ones who can "judge" their relationship. I frankly, dont care, i have more important things to do than to care about celebrities, however, I still think you bring up a good point, why do we care and judge others??
ReplyDeleteThis was a great idea for a post! You definitely have a passion for talking about Rihanna and the woman that she is. I think she is a great role model for women to stand up and embrace their sexuality, and I liked the fact that you stated she did not ask to be a figure of domestic violence. Her personal life is not so personal because she is such a public figure, and therefore we as a public cannot shame her decisions because we know nothing about them.
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